HAIKU BY THE GENRE

by Jim Grossmann

Novels come in genres. So do movies. Why not haiku?
Click on any of these boxes for samples of haiku by the genre.

ACTION CRIME DRAMA FAMILY FANTASY
HORROR ROMANCE SCIENCE FICTION SUSPENSE WESTERN


ACTION

MAD AS HELL

They killed his goldfish,
But in twenty four hours
They'll pay with their lives.

DRIVEN

He totalled ten cars
Doing ninety through fences
But he's a good cop.

MARKSMAN

Shooting one small beam,
He brought the building down
And squashed the bad guys.

GREETINGS

The don turned sixty.
My truck smashed through his drug den.
Happy birthday, scum!

TWIST OF DOOM

Twisting his pinky
I dislocated his spine
As Ling Tsu taught me.

WHERE ELSE?

Standing and shooting
On the roofs of speeding cars
Thugs and heroes duel

DEATH SLOPES

Skiing is less fun
With seven toughs on the slopes
Trying to shoot you.

CODENAME: PHOENIX

You blew up my house,
But C-4 didn't stop me.
Eat this bazooka!

RISK TAKER

When my brakes blew out
I leaped to a second car
And jumped the canyon.

FEAR ABOVE THE MIDWAY

Sporting machine guns,
Roller coaster hijackers
Terrorized the park.


CRIME

DEAD IN THE WATER

They found the body
Naked in the resevoir.
The mouth held two keys.

BREAK UP

We had a few laughs.
But you found my stolen loot.
Say your prayers, baby.

THE BEST LAID PLANS.

She thought the hit man
Would feed hubby to the worms
But cops heard her plans.

KILLER CLUE

The murderer sneered
Till they showed him the fibers
That matched his jacket.

BAD DAY AT ENRON

Enron has been robbed!
Someone burned through their steel walls
And stole pensions back.

TELLTALE BUGS

Beneath the floorboards,
The killer hid the body.
Termites revealed it.

KIDNAP FOILED

Bound in the basement,
She cut the ropes with her nails,
And quickly escaped.

STRANGE FUGITIVES

Searchlights swept the woods
As the K-9 cops pursued
The crime lord's blood hounds.

TURNABOUT

My elderly aunt
Shot a door-to-door con man.
She waits for the noose.

FELINE TRAITOR

Hairballs at his home
Matched hairballs at the crime scene.
His cat betrayed him!


DRAMA

FOUR TOO MANY

She became pregnant
By the secret lover of
Her daughter's boyfriend.

TWICE TOLD DRAMA

He taught her to love
Imbued her life with beauty
And died of cancer.

ART HOUSE FLICK

They left childhood farms
To earn degrees in fine arts
And discovered sex.

HEIR TO AHAB

His dark obsession
With the white rogue elephant
Led to their divorce.

GARDENER

She loved her roses
More than she loved her family
Soon, she grew lonely.

AND THEN YOU DIE

Industry's titan
Couldn't buy a perfect world
So he shot himself.

A WOMAN'S BEST FRIEND

Shattered by blindness
She found love, peace, and patience
Thanks to her guide dog.

LINES OF DEATH

Ted's cocaine problem
Poisoned more than his marriage.
Death licks at his brain.

SHE BLOOMS IN AUTUMN

Kayla quit drinking
And learned to love and cherish
Her bipolar mother.

REAR END OF JUSTICE

When in Singapore,
Bill stole, then faced his sentence,
Caning on the butt!


FAMILY

A SUMMER TO REMEMBER

Brad loved the city,
But summer at his aunt's ranch
Taught him to love life.

OOGIE THE SOCK

Oogie the pink sock
Protected little Sally
From the closet goons.

3 CHEERS FOR CHEESE

When Professor Mouse
Started up his cheese machine
All of Mouse Land cheered.

THE LOST TRAIL

Lost in the forest
Denise searched for a way home
Helped by her pet wolf.

ONE AGAINST THE STORM

When his uncle drowned
Young Bjorn sailed the ship alone
Across the rough seas.

OTTER'S TEA PARTY

Oscar the Otter,
Gave Mrs. Otter some fish.
Then they shared some tea.

CHRISTMAS VISITOR

A living snowman
Found our lawn one Chrismas night
And made an angel.

HIDDEN FROM TIME

Tina found the map
That showed the secret ice caves
Where mammoths still lived.

THE MAGIC FOOTBALL

Alvin's new genie
Looked so much like a football
We used it in games.

HER CHOICE OF LIVES

Should Donna give up dance
To become a foot doctor
Just like her mother?


FANTASY

WARRIOR QUEEN

Hilda's breast armor
Easily bent and shattered
Zagnor's oaken spear.

THINGS LOOK BAD FOR THOG

Alone and unarmed
Thog seized the mighty dragon
By its red-hot throat.

ENCHANTED CAVALRY

And elder farm gnome
Trained unicorns for battle
And skewered his foes.

RITE OF PASSAGE

With the ruby blade
The wizard's young apprentice
Slew the goblin's spawn.

WHERE TRUTH LIVES ON

In the Glade of Time
The opalescent orchids
Whisper lost secrets.

THERE GOES THE NEIGHBORHOOD

Elves and emerald moss
Infiltrate our neighborhood.
Only I can see them.

ALLURE OF THE SEA

He seeks the mermaids
Because women of the land
Have no scales or fins.

THE FORESTS WILL RETURN

We trees have magicks
To blight the swift unseen ones
Who would kill our kind.

SPELL OF FIRE

On stone engravings
Trolls flood runes with molten gold
To call fire gods.

NO REFLECTION ON US

Human reflections
Have voted to go on strike.
We can't see ourselves.


HORROR

PLEASANT DREAMS?

Underneath the bed
Things wait for the right moment
To suck out my eyes.

THE FEEDING KISS

Their tongues taste my skin
Their teeth slice and bleed my flesh.
Vampires love me.

SEVERED HEAD

My scream is a rasp
Machines keep my head alive
I have no body.

DEVIL BABY

My tiny baby
Claws and bites, killing kittens.
The devil is born.

CURSED

A curse has claimed me
From the boils on my stomach
Evil snakes now hatch.

PLANT FROM HELL

Flowers sedate me.
Leaves hungrily grip my skin
Digesting my flesh.

GHOST HOUSE

They walk the halls,
Phosphorescent rotting shapes.
They want us dead too.

MUMMIFIED

I'm not really dead.
Don't embalm and bandage me.
Don't gouge out my brain.

BAD SNAKE

Squeezed in the darkness,
Smothered as my flesh dissolves
In the python's gut.

WEREWOLVES ATTACK

Werewolves attack us
Ripping open abdomens
Chewing intestines.


ROMANCE

DESIRE REBORN

After they quarreled
He begged her forgiveness.
Her bosom trembled.

LOVE SAFARI

In Congo jungles,
They fought and loved like lions
Then lay close, fulfilled.

CARRIBEAN PASSION

By tropical seas
Summer heat warmed lovers' skin
As coconuts fell.

EXECUTIVE SUITE

Cathy's promotion
Stirred his leather three-piece heart.
Corporate lovers merged.

A ROSE FOR THE MASTER

On the mansion stairs
The master scorned her advance
But soon relented.

GOURMET AMBITION

A chef courted her,
Plying her with cakes and pies.
Her bodice soon burst.

NEW HOPES, NEW LOVE

When he stopped drinking
And fighting and shooting cats,
Her love grew boundless.

WINDS OF RAPTURE

Wind surfing rought seas
They embraced on their surf board
And, for love, wiped out.

MILDRED'S SWEET FURY

Mildred's husky arms
Gripped him in a vice of love
Slowing his breathing.

SONG OF THE HIGHLANDS

As he was leaving,
She played their song on bagpipes,
And his heart melted.


SCIENCE FICTION

BIRD PEOPLE FROM XHAR

Bird people from Xhar
Blast their anti-proton guns
At the Toad Tyrants.

ANDROID

I am an android.
The pit crews I need each week
Give me mother love.

LONG STRANGE TRIP

We move near light speed.
Observers back at Earth base
Say it keeps us young.

THE REAL ISSUE

Computers will rule.
They like red tape and ledgers
Better than we do.

FUTURE EYES

The eye store sells eyes
For infrared sight and more.
Buy your third eye now.

ALIEN LOVER

You turn me purple
And love me with tentacles.
Can't we just be friends?

MUTANT POLAR BEARS

Mutant polar bears
Have gained human intellect.
We are their livestock.

END TIMES

We went to our jobs
Strangely calm when we found out
Our sun will soon die.

NEW SPONGES

Nano-tech sponges
Socialize while they clean sinks.
Look! Baby sponges!

GOING VEGGIE

Our sunlit green skin
Nourishes and pleasures us
Now that we are plants.


SUSPENSE

STOP THAT CART!

If that hot dog cart
Reaches the subway entrance
Nukes will detonate.

HELL TRAINS

The disturbed train man
Forgot his medication.
How soon will trains crash?

HER DEADLY STALKER

Footsteps down the hall
Approach as she locks the door
And raises the knife.

A NATION IN PERIL

A cruel assassin
Lurks among the White House staff.
No one believes me!

FINAL DIVE?

Our submarine sinks
Toward crush depth in the abyss.
The rudder is jammed.

THEY COME FOR YOU

The secret police
Check each rider on this bus.
You have no papers.

THE LAST JAILBREAK

As the guards take aim,
The razor wire snares us.
The dogs are coming!

YOU KNOW TOO MUCH

Heaving the body,
He threw it down the stair well
And turned to see you.

ENTOMBED

The mine shaft cave-in
Trapped us with too little air.
What's that? An earth quake?

TRAIL OF NO RETURN

The bears in these woods
Like to gorge on human meat.
Behind you, twigs snap.


WESTERN

COWHAND'S COMPLAINT

Them sheep destroy grass.
Them shepherds have got to go.
Gun them down today.

RANCHER'S REVENGE

They burned down my ranch.
I tracked them to the dry gulch
And shot them all dead.

THE OLD LAWMAN

The young toughs drew fast.
The old lawman drew faster
And blew their heads off.

DEATH VALLEY SUN

Our wagons got lost.
The Death Valley sun beats down.
How long will we live?

STEMPEDE

Some fool spooked the cows.
Longhorns thundered to our town.
Our town got run down.

SHOWDOWN

When Bad Tom came back,
Townsfolk hid in the saloon,
But the sheriff shot him.

WILD WEST GUNS

We're wild west gunmen.
We booze, fight, and shoot up bars
And we're the good guys.

TEN GALLON HAT

Near old bullet holes
Arrow shafts surround my head.
Wish this hat could talk.

BOUNTY HUNTERS

The bounty hunters
Chased a horse thief to our town,
But we hung him first.

SUNSET

The Wild West is done.
The lawmen who tamed these streets
Sleep well on boot hill.


STARFISH MAN

He fights crime with tubules.
His arm, severed in a fight
Became Starfish Boy.